Adopted Teens and Blended Families
A situation that has become common today is the blended family. In some families the new parent legally adopts the teens when they marry into a family. Other parents will not go through the legal process, but the parents are still involved in the daily lives of the children they live with. It is common to hear a teen say to a new spouse to one of their parents, “you are not my Dad,” It can be a very difficult task for a parent to gain credibility with their non-biological children in the home. It can be a no win situation, as the new parent introduced into the family is usually the bad guy by default.
Some kids have a tendency to blame the newly introduced parent for the divorce and other problems and difficulties the teen is experiencing. The new parent would be wise to remember the following:
* They are not a parent of their new children
* It will take time and work to be accepted
* Give the children time to deal with the new arrangement
* A heavy hand will hardly ever work
* Be sincere in attempts to connect with new children
* Don’t take everything personal
* Learn to see through what a teen is saying
It can sometimes seem like a new parent will never be accepted by the new children. Perseverance and sincerity will go a long ways in efforts to be accepted by their new kids.
Let’s face it parenting is a difficult task to biological children. Parenting teens brings with it additional challenges. The teen is going through many changes biologically, socially, and mentally. Parents can assist their teen by staying close to them. An observant parent can detect and possibly intervene before a teen makes a poor choice. It is a fine line to walk between being an observant parent and a meddling parent. The observant parent uses more tact and behind the scenes work than the meddling parent. The observant parent will have a pretty good idea of potential problems with their children and teens.
As mentioned many times previously, communication is the key to a good relationship with a teen. Most teens are reluctant to share their true feelings with a parent or any adult. It is critical that information shared in confidence stay confident. The best way to close an open communication with a teen is to share confidential information with others.